For Days of Sunshine
Today I have not done that much. Woke up with friends after having a sleep over. Definitely passed out at midnight on the couch the second they put the DVD in. I didn’t even see the previews. Clearly still trying to make up for some sleep debt from late nights packing (and nights spent turning Sample into a Ninja/Penguin Robot).
I’m currently watching news coverage of the tornadoes in Oklahoma and Missouri. It’s terrifying. And terribly exciting. Part of me just wants to be studying it, figuring out where it comes from, how to predict it better. To feel the adrenaline of following it, but not just an idiot’s errand, following it in the pursuit of science. It’s a terrible thing. So far 124 confirmed dead in Joplin with 1500 missing (many most likely due to lack of communication). I’m watching CNN who is posting photos of people missing. It’s heartbreaking. Will Norton was sucked out of the sunroof on the way home from his high school graduation. 10 from the tornadoes in Oklahoma plus the missing.
The truth is that this extreme weather is the new normal. Larger tornados, hurricanes, blizzards, heat waves. Climate change has far reaching and immediate effects. Fatal effects. I think I could be very happy getting a degree in EAPS. I’m not crazy in love with rocks, which every person who I’ve mentioned doing EAPS to mentions the fact that EAPS people are in love with rocks. I love the weather. Climate change. Oceans and atmosphere. Working on the things that are changing constantly. Rocks are great, but I do not want to spend my whole life with them. It’s the thrill of the tornado siren (and the less thrilling computer models) that are the interesting aspects of eaps. I decided that should I decide that engineering is not my thing after this next coming semester then I will switch to EAPS.
I don’t know how to find myself, what I want. Find myself in so many different ways. From career to interests to what I want. So much confusion, but that is adolescence and that is life.
I am very happy about how my life is proceeding at this point though. I attend MIT, learning so much at the best institution for science, learning, and engineering in the world. I’m surrounded by incredibly intelligent people– people who love to learn and build (and whine a bit) and discover. This summer I’m pursuing my interests. I’m going backpacking for 30 days in the Rocky Mountains– a trip where I’ll learn about backcountry logistics and safety and cooking but where I’ll also learn so much about myself. I’m going to Uganda for a month, going to work to improve the lives of people by helping them and introducing them to technologies. I’m traveling to Africa, experiencing a new culture and learning from new people. I will grow as an engineer and as a person.
Returning to the video of the tornado coverage. I just want to help. I want to sign up for the Red Cross Disaster response teams. I don’t have a solid job the last three weeks of July. It’s crossed my mind before. The dogs that can smell living people. The doctors. The walls collapsed of a Home Depot but the shelves still standing.
